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This week we connected Lonneke to Ralf and Ralf to Lonneke. They answered each others questions about their perfect day and a museum heist.

What is the most irrational superstition you have?

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It’s the lucky number 8. I was born on the 8th of the 8th, in 1985 at 04.28pm, with a length of 48cm and a weight of 2850g.

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Birth certificate: Lonneke van der Palen

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My name counts 18 letters in total, my shoe size is 38.
Logically, ever since I was born, I’ve been fascinated by this number. I like the idea of infinity, of never having things perfect but close enough, and ideally live like a river flows. So whenever the 8 appears in my life, it’s a (good) thing.

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You have to pull off a museum heist. What’s your plan?

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Sounds like a terrible plan! My best guess would be to get a job in the museum using a pseudonym, start flirting with the kindest and -most dying to be with someone- security guy and ask him out. We would start to get along, months pass, my knowledge is growing.

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One day after I’m done working in the museum he would show up for his night shift. Wouldn’t it be romantic to spend the night here? For a few minutes he would shut down all the electricity to have that one most special experience without any eye witness or hell breaking loose.

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Before going back to his work I would quickly go to the toilet and before he realizes it, it’s already in my bag. Something so small, no one would notice. We say goodbye sleep well, and he or the museum would never see me again.

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What is an ideal that is worth sacrificing for mostly?

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A life without smartphones. Can you imagine? Face to face conversations without constant distraction, to be only at one place at a time, really listening to one another, focus, a clear mind in the morning and more hours of sleep at night. Less overstimulation and waste of time. Spontaneity, letters and decent phone calls instead of endless chats. No more misinterpretations turning into fights.

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Lonneke van der Palen ‘Frayed Hem Jeans’ (2019)

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Basically getting connected to the world again, the real world.

But we’d have to sacrifice the most beloved object that technology ever gave us, including all the endless benefits, to face our worst addiction with instant withdrawal symptoms. I wonder if we’d survive.

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Lonneke van der Palen ‘Windshield Wiper Fluid’ (2022)

If a movie was made about your life, which actor would take your part, who would direct it, and what would be the most memorable scene?

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I really dig Robert Pattison nowadays, but he doesn’t look like me at all.

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Robert Pattinson, Photo: Jack Bridgland

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But I don’t care, he should gain weight, get bald, and should be playing it, because he is good. Ari Aster is my favourite director at the moment, and the most memorable scene is definitely a death scene. Because death is the most striking part of life.

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Describe the perfect day?

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Seeing my partner after a day of work, having dinner with him, and having an evening walk together in our quiet old town of Dordrecht.

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This beautiful city is beautiful at dusk. Birds are getting to sleep, people are at home and all their lights inside are turned on, while we are being outside all by ourselves. Sometimes you can hear some people in the distance, but mostly you walk through the old city center just by yourself.

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Which piece of art by whom would decorate your living room and why?

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I would definitely hang some of the famous wall hangings from Bayeux. It’s about knights, castles, sword fights, and comets.

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credit: Myrabella

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If that doesn’t work I do have a second option: I do would like to have some of the tapestries of St. Anger. This piece is about the revelation of John and really inspiring to me, and every day I try to make sense of it.

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Photograph: Tuul and Bruno Morandi/Alamy

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There is something that I really recognize in this story, and having this beautiful piece of artwork in my house will really help me to solve it. I do need a big house for this piece though because I think it’s more than 80 meters long.

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Ralf Kokke ‘Two Frieds Having A Stroll’ (2022)


These interviews are part of an ongoing series of short interviews between Unfair artists, originally published through our mailings. Check the overview to read the other interviews  or subscribe to our mailing list through the button below:

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